Friday, August 14, 2009

feelings


g and I saw this a couple of nights ago. I liked it, I did...but for some reason it also made me feel a little teary. this could be for many reasons one being I am a girl and like to get teary around the same time every month. I talked it out with g after the movie and this a short list of things that watching brought out in me:

  • a deep desire for my nyc
  • furthered my itch to live in europe
  • made me really want to go to culinary school (the french culinary school in ny to be exact)
  • am I living up to my full potential?
  • I make a lot of mistakes
  • nervous that if I wait too long I might never be able to bear children.
  • I would love a WAY nicer kitchen (I think about this daily).
  • do I feed other people enough?
  • what's my storybook ending?
  • am I ok accepting and recognizing my own success without the validation of others?
  • I want to write/compile a book.
  • I'm pretty sure one of my best skills is eating. I am growing in front of your very eyes!
  • there is something about the act of "creating". nothing is more satisfying. whether it be the act of seeing , composing, capturing with my camera or growing, stirring and eating. magic!!!! complete magic. I think if I had a nice garden I could eat out of, meal time would make me cry with happiness. thank you earth. thank you sunshine. thank you for the ability to see and create.

after this post movie rant, g wrapped his arm around me and told me he loved me. then we walked arm in arm back to the little blue house. despite all my never ending questions and earnings for more, I have something I never have to question...and every time his arm wraps around me and he looks at me with those eyes that say, "you're crazy, and I love that crazy", I am reminded.

with g my questions feel safe. how awesome is that?!

the end.

11 comments:

nikki said...

awesome. Funny that I have a lot of those same questions... desires... writing a book... going to the french culinary institute even if it's just to a bread making class... having my own garden to eat out of... having kids... success... living up to my potential... I try not to think about it too much or it makes me anxious. But I love you and I love your crazy.

kelly mccaleb said...

it's super awesome. that was touching, thanks for sharing.

Heather said...

i crying right now.... rach,the sweetest post ever!!1 i love g & love your craziness.......
not to mention i just watched your sytycd post addiction... still crying...
i am on my way to the blue house right now with o. i miss you :(

a not so desperate housewife said...

love your post, chica...if i like the movie half as much i'm happy :)

noelle said...

sweet, sweet post, rachel thurston. you have a way of communicating the deepest emotions that we can all relate to. and this is why i stalk you. ;)

RGholds said...

i like this post.

Anonymous said...

It's funny, Rachel. My husband and I had almost this same conversation last night...after I got done looking at your photography. You have such an amazing gift and a palpable talent, and looking at your images does nothing but make me feel the way that Julia made you feel. It's always nice to have an inspiration for betterment. For what it's worth, you're that inspiration for me.

Emily Hatch said...

Oh Rach, this post made me miss you so much. You are SO full of life and passion and sometimes when I am with you I wonder how you live with this momentum and intensity. You amaze me. You have been one of my best friends for so long. I have learned so much from you, and have deeply appreciated your support, encouragement, and love. I hope you make it to culinary school soon. You need to do it! Love you. emma lou

Anna Jay said...

When you finally take a culinary class, I promise to be your taste tester. And you will be the favorite family cook, once again and forever more.

Emily said...

Hi Rachel,

I've been following your blog for awhile, and now that I read this post, I must speak up -- are we the same person?! :) I love your work (and am a teensy bit jealous of your style and your eye), and next time you're in Chicago, will you come over for a cup of afternoon tea?

Becky said...

I love this thank you.. I have to see this movie now.